The littlest

On Thursday I brought Marley to the endocrinologist for a follow up. Her initial appointment was over a year ago and the focus (as it has always been) is on her small size and slow growth. Now that Marley is armed with over 2 years of growth charts, her tininess is mapped out on paper. Marley has always been in the less than 1% for length and weight. As her doctors have playfully put it, "she is on her own growth curve". You can connect the over 50 dots (one for each time she has been weighed) and while at times the line plateaus, it ultimately goes up over time. Which is good. But not great.

Estimations of Marley's adult height put her at 4'7" or 4'8". And before you start exclaiming how "cute" it is to be petite- let me tell you- it's not. It's one thing to be 4'11" or maybe even 4'10" but 4'7" and looking like a child and having to wear children's clothes is not cute, or fun or neat when you are 25 years old.

Yes, the future is what I think about. I try not to because nothing could be more unclear. But the future is what you have to think about when you look at growth charts wondering where your child will fall when the chart ends at 18.

So on Thursday I spoke to the endocrinologist about the future and about Marley's small size. I like to be proactive and in Marley's case that comes down to "what are we gonna do now to make things better in the future?" The endocrinologist touched upon growth hormone and the strong likelihood that Marley lacks it. We reviewed the signs of growth hormone deficiency- delayed teeth eruption, increased adipose tissue, lack of muscle mass, shortness and delayed aging. Marley pretty hits all of these. But to start on the path of true diagnosis, she suggested we begin by doing some blood tests such as a thyroid panel and proteins that can signify growth hormone deficiency. If those hormones are abnormal we will move onto a growth hormone stimulation test. I did not ask her the details of the stimulation test because while I pride myself on being proactive, I also pride myself at taking things one step at a time. I can get lost in the "what-ifs"; that's a dangerous place to be.

So I brought Marley to the lab yesterday at Seattle Children's for the dreaded blood draw. While seeing your child get an IV in her scalp is one of the worst experiences I have ever had- blood draws are a close second. But you know what? She was a total rockstar. She didn't cry or fidget. She held perfectly still and the phlebotomist got her blood on the 1st try! What a relief!

Anyway, the endocrinologist should be calling me next week with the results and the plan.

On a side note, since you have all been asking about Marley's development- she is now cruising, pulling to stand and crawling over and around everything. She is not yet walking but I now know she will though I still don't know when. I love that she has been accomplishing so much lately I just wish I knew when she will start walking. We still don't know if she will ever talk and at this point I'd be happy if her only word was "Fuck" if she could say it. Though I think "Mama" would take my breath away every time I heard it.