I spent a lot of time today reflecting on the anniversary of her birth. I admit that I don't have many fond memories of that day. While labor and birthing were relatively easy, once she came out, the reality of the situation was pushed into my face. I am ashamed to admit that her birth brought a lot of sadness, months of grief and anger, and to this day I still struggle with my loss of a "perfect baby".
But Marley is here and she has made me a much stronger person than I ever imagined. I truly am the strongest person I know. Hands down. And I am so proud of all that Marley has accomplished in this year- she is absolutely nothing like that screaming newborn that tested my patience and sanity. I mean, she still tests my patience; you have to be patient when you have a child that is developmentally delayed. But I really look forward to seeing all that she can and will learn in this coming year.
Saturday is her birthday party. Marley will have cake for the first time, and I will pour myself a very stiff drink and raise that glass to celebrate with my friends all that is Marley.